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Joke of the Day

"What if bananas turn black and bruised because they run their own fight club when we're not around?"

"another vampire joke for you guys. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""see you next month."""

"If i don't get a B+ or better on the Emergency Broadcast System Test this Saturday. My mom said she's taking my iPhone away for a month."

"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."

"The sign said, ""Call Jesus for help."" The next day I had a Mexican guy mowing my lawn."

"People actually care about you! Just try missing a couple of payments, you'll see!"

"Why Do Jews Play Football? So they can get the Quarterback!"

"This weather girl is giving the weather report and her titties are blocking the state of Texas. #LoneStartitties"

"I got a job crushing cans... ...It's soda pressing..."

"Why can't you ever trust an atom? Because they make up everything"