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Joke of the Day

"My dad died five years ago but I still see him everywhere I look. Makes me wish I hadn't dismembered him."

"An illegal immigrant and a pedophile got into a fight... It was the real life version of Alien vs Predator"

"Boss:my office, now! Me:*to myself* dont be about Twitter dont be about Twitter B:we've had a sexual harassment complaint M:Oh thank God!"

"How did the depressed man get around town? Moped"

"I used to have a problem choking on my food all the time Now I only eat cheerios and life savers"

"An interesting twist on a classic. (x-post /r4chan) http://i.imgur.com/UvBlxDK.png"

"What did the buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? He waves and says Bi son"

"What do you call a black man flying plane? A pilot you racist."

"How many super sayen do you need to change a bulb ? Only one, but it take 4 episodes and Krilin died at the end."

"[Me and a friend have movie night, order pizza and do some acid] Me: ""Hell yeah"" Friend: ""Hell yeah"" Pizza: ""Oh hell yeah"""