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Joke of the Day

"My dad died five years ago but I still see him everywhere I look. Makes me wish I hadn't dismembered him."

"What's worse than biting an apple and finding a worm? biting an apple and finding half a worm"

"I was going to tell some rabbit jokes But people tend not to carrot all about them."

"Tuna What do you call a can of tuna in a lesbians back pocket? DIP"

"You're in love? Cool, I'm in sweatpants."

"Whenever someone asks how i'm doing & walks away before i answer..I write ""GREAT"" on the side of thier car with my keys!"

"I put on Shrek and fell asleep. I woke up and it was over. I ogre slept."

"Doctor Doctor some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam. You're too tents."

"What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian? Someone who knocks on your door at 6 a.m. for no reason."

"I recently got a device that can remotely slow down any car And as an added bonus it shows me what speed they're going at too!"