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Joke of the Day
"In my house ""no"" means keep doing it till mom loses her shit."
Next Joke
"94% of women will preface their parallel parking with, ""I suck at parallel parking."""
"I masturbated when the clock struck 12 tonight It was the stroke of midnight"
"I eat mushrooms for petit dejeuner. It's the breakfast of champignons."
"Winter is natures way of telling you to polish."
"*walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*"
"A liar, a murderer, and a thief walk into a bar. The bartender asks, ""what will it be, Mrs. Clinton?"""
"Why are E.T.'s eyes so big? He saw the phone bill."
"Did you know Yao Ming had a dog? He had a dog before every NBA game."
"Gardens (only clean joke I know) Why don't you tell secrets in a garden? Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk."