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Joke of the Day

"My son got me some very expensive cologne for Father's Day. I know it was very expensive because he used my credit card."

"A guy walks into a pet store wanting to buy a talking bird. He sees a parrot and says to the bird, ""Hey, can you speak, stupid?"" The bird replies, ""Yes, can you fly, Dummy?"""

"""shake what ya momma gave ya!"" *starts shaking low self-esteem*"

"I have a huge fear of elevators... I've started taking steps to avoid it."

"How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult? It's like, oh you gave birth to me? Please enjoy this fancy candle."

"ITALIAN MUSTACHES WHY DO MOST ITALIAN MEN HAVE MUSTACHES? A: SO THEY CAN LOOK LIKE MOM"

"I set them up, you..."

"When does a tree want less? When it's sycamore."

"How do you make a plumber cry? Staple a frog to his forehead"

"A Mexican bear walks into a bar He stretches, yawns, then says ""Oso tired"""