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Joke of the Day

"Found some chips in the bag of air I just bought."

"My uncle once punched his 8-year-old daughter for cheating while playing cards. *He takes strip poker very seriously.*"

"Do you know why I love working out? Because I always feel like a weight has been lifted."

"What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"How many men does it take to make popcorn? Four one to hold the pot and three to act macho and shake the stove."

"Whats similar with a Dick and a Rubik Cube? If you play with it, it gets harder..."

"If you don't already know your Miranda rights from watching TV and movies, you're kind of an idiot."

"The worst thief ever came to my birthday party today. I mean, I've seen other thieves, but this one took the cake."

"The best part about being an abortionist..? [NSFW] I haven't had to buy dog food in a long, long time."

"If Tumblr was edible It would have alot of trans fat"