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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine"

"Procrastinators be like; Sofa so good My attempt on pun"

"What do girls and snowflakes have in common? They can't drive cars."

"K1: Frankincence K2: Myrrh K3: Gold K1 & K2: WHAT? K3: Gold K1: We said 20 each! K3: I.. K1: I hate you K3: Wrap it from all of us?"

"Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker? He wrote ""1 + 0 = 0"" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out..."

"They don't set the bar very high in Ireland... It makes the leprechauns angry."

"Words can't even describe how beautiful you are. But numbers can, 3/10."

"Everything is funnier... Everything is funnier when you're not allowed to laugh. *holds a giggle in* [http://minestatus.co/post.php?id=630]"

"How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Rectal thermometer tastes like shit"

"This day in history. 1940. Carbon-14 was discovered, allowing us to estimate the age of organic materials such as wood, leather, and Cher."