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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a bumper sticker that completely changed my belief systems."

"How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4... one to drop it and three to PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP, PICK IT UUUUUUUP!!!"

"Me: [uncontrollable sobbing] I can't see you anymore. I won't let you hurt me again. Trainer: It was a sit-up. You did 1 sit-up."

"What do astronauts eat for dinner? Launch meat."

"[Noah from the Bible is doing laundry and his washer just starts spewing water] DEBORAH GET THE BOAT"

"No mom, I can't date him. Well he took that which superhero are you quiz and well...*whispers* he got Daredevil."

"So I broke up with my German girlfriend. She said I didn't pay enough attention and suggested I attend a concentration camp."

"What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user?? Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time ;)"

"How do pirates know they are pirates? They think therefore they arrr"

"What kind of book did Frankenstein's monster like to read? One with a cemetery plot."