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Joke of the Day

"I get hit with a lot of folding chairs for someone that's not a professional wrestler."

"Son just threatened to poke me in the 'belly butthole"". Pretty sure he meant belly button, but I'm on guard just in case."

"How do you keep someone curious? I'll tell you on my next post"

"I can't wait to get married and communicate my disdain solely through aggressive dishwashing."

"I never thought that eating a bowl of Alphabet Soup could help me overcome constipation. But here I am, in the loo, having a massive vowel movement."

"Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement? Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist."

"My girlfriend is like my will to live Nonexistent."

"It's going to be a busy couple of months for Caitlyn Jenner Mothers' Day and then Fathers' Day"

"I don't like snakes, but ""Diarrhea on a Plane"" would be a lot scarier."

"Butterflies (by Kevin L. Schwartz) All these years later and you still give me butterflies. It's crazy. I told you a decade ago I quit collecting."