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Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of marshmellow? Well, I guess it would be marshmadness"

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"I got a boner at a funeral today.... Mourning wood."
"Nothing makes me second-guess my language like a little voice chirping, ""Mommy, I found your freaking measuring spoons."""
"Where do you see yourself in four years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."
"For all the English lovers... The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense."
"If Wednesday is hump day... ...is Tuesday foreplay day?"
"What's a Web Developer's favourite tea? URL #DDD"
"Got laid twice in two days so either I've done something really good or my wife has done something really bad."
"How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don't worry, they'll tell you."