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Joke of the Day

"To the man that stole my copy of Microsoft Office I will find you. You have my word!"

"A Rabbit's foot is considered good luck! A Camel's toe should be considered really good luck!!"

"(Q)....What do fat chicks and scooters have in common? (A).... They're both fun to ride until your friends find out."

"My friends always at the gym, so I invited him to a social even for a change. He responds, ""Can't come, they don't allow guns in there. I would have to cut off both my arms"""

"You have to admit, healthcare reform sure beats the most lasting domestic reform of the last guy: warrantless wiretaps."

"There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who can extrapolate from incomplete data,"

"My girlfriend isn't a fan of Starwars, says I would have to force her to go. ""*ss****SSkkkk****rrowwmm****mzzrreowwwowwww***."""

"I also like my coffee like i like my slaves. Hand-picked from a third world country. ...I'll show myself out."

"If you've had a lightsaber pointed at you while you were on the toilet you may be a parent ...or your life is way more interesting than mine"

"My teenage daughter is TRYING to say, ""I miss you dad, please take me fishing."" But it keeps coming out like, ""Hey, can I have $20 dollars."""