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Joke of the Day

"Why do jihadists drink instant coffee? Because they hate the french press..."

"""This isn't my first rodeo"" -Guy at his second rodeo"

"Man, my 84-year-old neighbor must REALLY like working on his car. He's been under there changing the oil for 3 days."

"Guy walks into a bar... So, this guy walks into a bar with 2 Bananas in his ears. Bartender says ""Hey buddy, whats up with the Bananas?"" Guy says ""What?"""

"I bet Hemingway would've deleted a shitload of tweets the next day."

"Yes, my teeth are dazzling, but, please, treat me no differently than you would the next demigod."

"God made every person different... He got tired by the time he got to China..."

"What would you call a restaurant for anorexics? The Empty Plate..."

"Why didn't the Orange want to be eaten? Because he wasn't feeling appealing."

"What does socialism smell like? It has a Bernie smell."