80686

Joke of the Day

"My husband is so weird He always listens to me for an hour and a half, but then he turns off the tv, and leaves, telling me the match ended."

"If you run into someone you know and they say ""we should hang out sometime"" just say ""I'm ready to hang out right now"" and watch them panic"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chin and Tony ! Chin and Tony who ? Chin and Tonyk !"

"train me. no. train me. okay. training montage. the big fight. i'm glad you trained me. i'm glad i trained you. #everyboxingmovie"

"The chicken and egg have sex The chicken, enjoying a post coital cigarette, turns to the egg and says ""Well, that answered that old question"""

"West Coast problems If you meet a vegan, and they do crossfit, which do they talk about first?"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a thief? Nothing."

"What's long and hard On a black person? First grade"

"If it looks like a douchebag, and smells like a douchebag, then I must be walking by an Abercrombie & Fitch store."

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"".. ..is a shitty way to tell a kid they're adopted"