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Joke of the Day

"My Son Is A Genius Mom 1: my son is so smart I swear he's the next Albert Einstein Mom 2: oh really? My son is the next Steven Hawking, he never gets his up off his ass"

"What paint is most popular in modern buildings? Microsoft Paint"

"Googles ""what happens if you accidentally eat raw cookie dough"" [5 minutes later] ""twice"""

"Just met up with an old friend yesterday I asked where he's been I haven't seen him in years. He replied jail, cops don't approve of you selling pot in a school zone."

"You know you have no attention span when you require a mental break while typing 140 characters."

"A paraplegic high school senior can graduate... ...but can't walk with their class."

"*walks into work 20 minutes late* *boss glares at me* ""Sorry. Traffic."" *boss gestures to my Starbucks cup* ""Oh this? I found it."""

"I walked into a male underwear store for a quick second. I had a brief encounter."

"What do you call a fat psychic? ...a four chin teller"

"Why do we sleep? Because we get sleepy."