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Joke of the Day

"FORD Fix or Repair Daily."

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"What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile? A carpet."
"Why do all the lesbians shop at The Sports Authority? Because they don't like Dicks."
"JESUS: Happy Father's Day, Joe. [hands over present] JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it- [present is empty] [Jesus and God hi-5]"
"When is the best time to raise money? When there's a stripper in front of you."
"How do you get info from a french dude? You est-ce que question"
"My wife and I used to practice safe sex. Unfortunately they won't let us back in the bank."
"I quit drinking & people laughed at me. Now the iPhone 7 is here and I get to sell a clean & pure Liver. The joke is now on them."
"Voted class president. Assassinated."
"What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their last big hits were The Wall."