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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Chelsea team without a player? No Mata!!"

"Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate."

"What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college? Bye-son"

"Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer."

"Gardening I was gardening the other day when my older brother rang to ask if I wanted to hang out. I promptly said yes because you know what they say, bros before hose."

"Heard they are making the Tetris movie into a trilogy... They must think its going to be a real blockbuster."

"NO, YOU GET THE HELL OFF YOUR PROPERTY."

"""So, how was your week off ill?"", asked the co-worker to his Scottish counterpart. ""Aye, was okay lad, but it was only a wee cough""."

"Comedy Club I sent a comedy club my resume. They looked at it for a second, and laughed their asses off. I thought it was a good sign. I never heard back. Now I work in Corporate America."

"I watched a gang bang video involving several bus drivers and one woman. She looked bored for half an hour, then suddenly they all came at the same time."