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Joke of the Day

"Netflix and chill is cool... But let's be honest guys, we know for most of you it's Netflix and Jill Edit: if you don't know who Jill is, take a look at your hand."

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"Rape Hotline I called the rape advice hotline. I didn't realize it was for victims."
"Heading to the dentist. I hope they've all taken their Valium and said their prayers."
"hey wat was lenard nimoys favorite pet william ratner his rat"
"TIL you don't actually learn something new everyday. Wait. Nevermind."
"Marshawn Lynch came back to play for the month of October. Breast Mode"
"How to sports: - Take a ball - Put it someplace someone else doesn't want you to put it - Congratulations you've now sportsed"
"What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine? You don't have to hug a washing machine half an hour after it finishes"
"I just invented a new word: Plagiarism."
"Sometimes I want to ask certain people, ""So you looked in the mirror and thought you looked good enough to go outside?"""