79419
Joke of the Day
"You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it."
Next Joke
"Friend 1: I was promoted. Friend 2: I got engaged. Friend 3: My wife is pregnant again. Me: One of my selfies almost got 50 likes."
"I like my money like I like my women... Under the table."
"""i would like to propose a toast"" - slice of bread"
"Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bullet proof vest"
"Dear Adobe, In all the times I've been to the circus I've never seen an Acrobat Reading."
"What does a lonely pepper do? Gets jalapeno business."
"What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile"
"Did you hear about the special offer at the Mexican carpet store? UNDERLAY UNDERLAY UNDERLAY!!!!!!!!"
"I haven't been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn't lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I've told to cops."