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Joke of the Day
"What did Treebeard say when he took a piss? RELEASE THE RIVERRR!!!!!!!"
Next Joke
"After thinking about how bad the average person is at math I've realized that about 75% of people are worse."
"According to museum portraits, everyone in the 18th century looked like a giant chubby baby."
"[on date] *okay don't let her know you're a T-Rex* Her: Can you pass the salt please? Me: Crap..."
"Old Italian guy is on his front stoop cooking a chicken on a rotisserie when a hippy walks by. Hippy looks up and says, ""Hey man. The music stopped and your monkey's on fire"""
"You know why Trump fans are called Trumpettes? You only have to learn how to press three buttons, and then you can play 'em all day."
"Some people think horror movies or big spiders are scary, but nothing terrifies me more than couples that share a Facebook profile."
"Mommy monster: Don't eat that uranium. Little monster: Why not? Mommy monster: You'll get atomic-ache."
"It's weird for Me not having a Pope. I feel like Burns without Smithers."
"Looking for a friend with benefits. Preferably dental."