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Joke of the Day

"According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame"

"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the snow for too long? Polaroids."

"And God said to Peter, ""come forth and I shall give you eternal life"" Unfortunately Peter came fifth and won a toaster"

"a jewish man told me this... Knock knock..."

"What is the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew? Black Jews have to sit at the back of the gas chamber."

"You know how light travels faster than sound? That's why some people seem bright until they start speaking."

"A couple of dwarves got arrested... A couple of dwarves got arrested in London the other day. They got charged for possession of small arms."

"It's not so much that I'm a KE$HA hater, its more of the fact that I'm a music lover."

"Female aliens are invading earth and kidnapping men with large cocks. You're in no danger. I'm just writing you to say goodbye."

"I hope you never have to experience the loss of a child. Lotta paperwork."