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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally hit my head on a window today... It was paneful."

"I have a job offer for you, and I will pay you huge sums for it. All you have to do is tie up my poop I shit, you knot"

"Why doesn't anyone watch women's hockey? The games take 3 months to play!"

"If Linkin Park was to describe photons: ""[...] But in the end, it isn't even matter."""

"What do Saiyans and Kelly Clarkson have in common? (x-post r/funny) What doesn't kill them, makes them stronger."

"Sometimes i flirt and i feel really akward. Idk if the people around me are gonna hate more for it. I have this rly weird feeling in my stomach and sometimes idk why. Oh wait not flirt. I ment fart"

"Why did the cow get a job at Google? Because she was out standing in her field."

"I went to donate a kidney once.. I went in to donate a kidney once but when I arrived at the hospital they asked me where I'd got it from -Jimmy Carr"

"A man sent ten puns to his friends, hoping at least one would make them laugh No pun in ten did."

"When I first met my boyfriend, he told me he shared something in common with the KKK... He was right, that man is a wizard under the sheets."