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Joke of the Day

"I knew I was old when I opened internet explorer."

"How to discipline your rock *you hit rock bottom*"

"I think i'm bisexual... Every time I want sex I have to buy it."

"What do you call a fight between a human and a gorilla? A harumble."

"Apparently telling the principal that ""it's not cheating, it's cooperative learning"" was the wrong thing to say."

"WebMD says pregnancy symptoms are fatigue, tender breasts, irritability, cravings, and headaches. All chicks are pregnant. All. The. Time."

"""You only want my daughter for one thing!"" yelled my girlfriend's mother. ""That's your fault for not teaching her to cook,"" I said."

"I'm having an existential crisis because I dialed a wrong number and the man who answered asked me, ""Who is you?!"""

"If there isn't a Chinese millionaire called 'Cha Ching' I will be so disappointed."

"GET OVER HERE thunders across the bar as a harpooned rope impales a beautiful girl. The bartender smiles and shakes his head at Scorpion."