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Joke of the Day

"They say punching a shark is an effective way to prevent a shark attack but my preference would still be 'land'"

"It was a sad day when I discovered... my new Universal Remote Control does not, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely."

"Jogging has never helped my memory."

"The police came to my house looking for a child molester... I guess I wasn't supposed to volunteer."

"I finished sixth form, I finished university, and I've bought a house, and yet the white walkers haven't arrived."

"Every Facebook post: *Girl posts lyrics* Elderly woman comments ""Hi lucy. you're so grown up. We miss you. Tell your mom ill call Wednesday"""

"How did Steve Jobs die? From PC"

"What's the difference between my jokes and my penis? Girls don't laugh at my jokes."

"what do you give to the god of shit? Sacrifeces"

"What's going to be thinner than the IPhone 8? Apples ideas."