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Joke of the Day

"What refreshing beverage will no red-blooded American male ever drink again ? ... wait for it ... an ice-cold Bruceski"

"The craziest shit happened today. Then I just wiped it away and got on with my day."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger goes to a Halloween party. The theme is ""Dead Classical Composers""... When asked who he'll dress up as, Arnold says, ""I'll be Bach."""

"I never expected my dad to steal from his road construction job... but when I got home all of the signs were there."

"How are parsley and pubic hair similar? You push them both aside and start eating."

"A couple have a terrible accident and they both end up blind The guy turns to his girlfriend and whispers in her ear: I'm sorry, but we can't see each other anymore."

"In 1828 Franz Schubert was buried next to Beethoven... They wanted to decompose together."

"THE DOCTOR WITH HIS PATIENT The doctor to the patient: You are very sick' The patient to the doctor: Can I get a second opinion?' The doctor again: Yes, you are very ugly too...'"

"Sinead O'Connor has been found safe... She'd been missing for 7 hours and 15 days."

"What did Trump get for Christmas? Stage IV rectal carcinoma with a recto-vesicular fistula so he farts out his penis...hopefully."