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Joke of the Day

"Life Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked!"

"whats the difference between a woman and a computer ? A woman has no use for a 3 1/2"" inch floppy."

"if you get killed while you have to pee your ghost will have to pee but it can't"

"I got free pancakes on International Pancake Day. International Women's Day is now almost over and I think I like pancake day better."

"What is Kanye's favorite Transformer? Bruce Jenner"

"Say ""Literally"" and ""Legit"" a few more times in that sentence so I know it's literally legit"

"Did you know NASA 30 years ago made a new space drink? Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't get 7-UP."

"As a bachelor I learned to separate my laundry into three piles; dirty, not so bad, and I could wear this another two three times if needed."

"What was said the boiled waters funeral? You will be mist."

"I got hit in the head with a can of soda today I'm lucky though it was a soft drink"