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Joke of the Day

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee Fair Trade."

"Famous Deaths happen in 3s... Sunday it was Mr Fuji, Yesterday it was Gene Wilder, Today it was the Minnesota Vikings season."

"If you die whilst urinating Then you literally piss your life away"

"Dad asks me have you heard of the new movie constipation? I was all like what, no. And he said, It never came out."

"Where do turkeys go to have a good time? The Turkey Club"

"Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut? They didn't like the barbershop Cortez."

"* Gets out of a 10 year old coma * Me: Where am I? Dad: GO ASK YOUR MOTHER!"

"Thinks face-book should add a big fat FUCK YOU button!"

"what's the difference between cocaine and a 4 year old? Eric Clapton would never let cocaine fall out a window"

"Have you heard about the Polish lesbian? She fucks men."