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Joke of the Day

"A man walked into a bar And immediately lost the limbo competition"

"Why are you even asking me that mom. I love jumping off bridges, either by myself or as a group, you know that."

"You can use lemon juice to get the goat's blood out of the drapes. #householdhints"

"Thought about growing some impatiens this year... but then decided against it. Takes too long."

"A girl asked her boyfriend what the Kamasutra was... He replied ""Let me put it this way"""

"IF U WANNA BE MY LOVER you gotta get me a large three topping pizza with stuffed crust"

"Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight."

"A man comes to the infodesk in a mall And says: ""Sorry, I seem to have lost my son in the mall, can I make an announcement on your PA system?"" ""Oh, sure"" The man leans towards the mike: ""I'm vegan"""

"My gf & I are toying w/the idea of changing both of our last names rather than hyphenate Easier & we can have fun with it Mrs Velociraptor."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it pees? Because the p is silent."