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Joke of the Day

"I saw Michael J. Fox in a gardening centre the other day... He had his back to the fuchsia."

"Border Patrol never did chase down that illegal baby food smuggler from Mexico. I heard he was so fast they nicknamed him Formula Juan."

"Q: How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming? A: SPLAT!!! He didn't."

"Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself."

"During conversation, a guy mispronounces a physicist's name. Upon realizing this, he apologizes profusely. The physicist says, ""It's Feynman."""

"On the fifth day to election, the public gave to me... Five Gallup polls Four awful choices Three Trump Steaks Two more WikiLeaks And a cache of Clinton emails!"

"If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case."

"How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue."

"Met the daughter's new boy friend. Grabbed his crotch and whispered 'looking forward to tonight's three way'... And that is that."

"Ever tried to watch your own feet while running? Don't do it. It's trippy."