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Joke of the Day

"*brings whipped cream to bed* Husband: Ohh, are we trying something new? Me: Will you hold this pumpkin pie while I get comfortable?"

"When someone yawns, I like to yell ""Surprise Dentist!"" and stick my hand in their mouth, which is fun because I'm not really a dentist."

"How to Skrillex sign his Valentine's Day cards? I wub wub wub you...."

"Do you know the difference between 5 minutes of blowjob and 5 minutes of sodomy ? Do you have 10 minutes ?"

"Knock knock..I eat mop Thats nasty."

"Your wife is locked out at the front door yelling at you and your dog is barking at the back door to be let in. Which do you let in first? Your dog, because it'll stop barking once you let it in."

"What do you do if the Ocean stares at you? Sea it and Wave :3"

"Why can't you have military coup in Russia? Because in Russia the military coups you."

"The Exorcist (1973): a child is possessed by a demon. Hilarity ensues."

"What is the difference between a Jew and a Canoe? a canoe tips."