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Joke of the Day

"I went for a run.... I went for a run but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes"

"How did Wendy die? The Baconator."

"Paul Walker proves god is real ! Paul Walker was meant to walk, but he took a car and god punished him for not walking. This proves that - Atheist: 0 Theist: 1"

"Mack The Slice"

"Apples New Featured Release The Fappening."

"They say, ""If you let something go and it comes back, it's yours"" Then does that mean I own all boomerangs?"

"Spider-Man's a great addition to The Avengers, if they're looking for a superhero who is best at watching people they love die."

"What do you call a slutty duck that does drugs? A quack whore."

"You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them"

"What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter? With Twitter you only get 140 characters."