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Joke of the Day

"I went for a run.... I went for a run but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes"

"What do you call two gay guys in a sleeping bag? A fruit roll-up"

"No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?"

"If Money Doesn't Grow On Trees, Then Why Do Banks Have Branches?"

"To whom do agnostics pray? To whom it may concern."

"What did the cucumber say to the salad? Nothing. (It's a cucumber. (They don't talk.))"

"What's the biggest city in the United States? Obesity"

"I saw these two blind guys about to fight and I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife."" You should have seen how fast they both ran off."

"How could Donald Trump support Mitt Romney? Didn't he know Romney was made in Mexico?"

"Whats black and isn't working? Black lives matter."