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Joke of the Day

"Why are school shooters more likely to be white people? White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood."

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"Subway is releasing a new Jared inspired sandwich to promote healthy eating in the jail! It's called the Hot Dick Sandwich and only comes in 9 inches."
"today, my girlfriend asked me for a dick pic.... but the NASA didn't let me use the Hubble Space telescope.."
"When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to ""make God laugh""? You wouldn't order a dead carpenter to ""make God some bookshelves."""
"What's pale, lives in darkness and sucks blood? A tampon"
"Some friends, a lesbian couple... bought me an antique gold fob timepiece for my birthday. I think they mistook me when I said ""I wanna watch""."
"What do you call it when a zombie steals an idea Plaguegiarism Jesus Christ dafuq is wrong with me"
"They should make a movie where a guy takes someone's Ph.D. thesis, edits it one paragraph at a time and turns it into a completely new thesis. It should be called Ship of Thesis."
"Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar."
"Hell of a way Americans celebrate thanksgiving. ""Turkey shoots down Russian fighter jet"""