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Joke of the Day

"Did you know, If you get everyone in the UK to lie head to toe in a line across the English channel... ...They would probably drown"

"DOCTOR: u broke ur leg in five places, how did this happen ME:*flashback of me trying to carry too much ice cream up the stairs* bears."

"A dad walks into his son's room while his son is masturbating. ""Son, don't do that, you'll go blind."" ""Hey dad, I'm over here""."

"I peaked too soon in high school. I'm still sending her child support."

"What is the difference between a feminist and a machist? The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first."

"I've been sleeping with my pocket knife these days... It fucking hurts!"

"Do you guys know the story of Flip Flap the Giraffe? It's a giraffe, walking in the savannah. All of a sudden, an helicopter comes by and..... flip flap the giraffe!"

"What do you call a woman rolling around on a beach? Sandy"

"I like my cars how I like my women Asian and dirty."

"*1st time at gym* *picks up weight* how do i equip this *steps on treadmill* can i get exp on here *taps huge guy* do you sell mana potions"