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Joke of the Day

"When my buddy smokes weed with me, he calls it smoking me out. Apparently bringing over a pizza and eating him out means something totally different."

"Never commit a crime while working out Lest you get ill gotten gainz."

"I'm a show off but not drive around with Christmas lights on my car show off And that's when I realized it was a cop car"

"what do you call a gay sloth? Slow-mosexual"

"Sorry I commented on that video of your kid taking his first steps with ""aw look you taught it how to walk on its hind legs!"""

"What's long, stiff and full of se(a)men? Maddie McCan"

"I lost my job at the suicide hotline. Apparently reverse psychology isn't very well accepted."

"I'll take ""That's Not A Category"" for $200, Alex. ""That's not a category."" Yes, that's right. ""That's not a category."" I chose that, yes."

"Does anyone know watt is the unit for power?"

"[driver on opposite side of the road puts head lights on] moth driving: omg moth wife: Harold no we have a baby moth baby: FLOOR IT DAD"