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Joke of the Day

"I'm a show off but not drive around with Christmas lights on my car show off And that's when I realized it was a cop car"

"Still don't understand why all car commercials show the car skidding out of control."

"What was Hitler's favorite color to use when painting? Aryan white."

"Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons... It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada."

"Great. My wife is on her exclamation mark."

"[Flight Attendant]: Would you like some headphones? [Passenger]: Yes please, but how'd you know my name was Phones?"

"Double limb transplants are so expensive They cost an arm and leg"

"How do you make a sports science major cry? Remind them that high school is over."

"Opening a new Pho restaurant that never closes Going to call it Twenty Pho Seven."

"What did the roach say after a series of disappointing hotel stays? This is my last resort."