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Joke of the Day

"Management tip: 1) Slam phone down, 2) Grab briefcase, 3) Stomp out while mumbling about ""always having to fix things,"" 4) Sleep in car."

"Me: ""Dad, I wanna to go to a 50 cent concert!"" Dad: ""Well here's a dollar, take your sister too."""

"What is one of the funniest simple joke you have ever heard? Literally... made you die laughing e.g. Why did the monkey fall of the tree? bc it died e.g. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?"

"The ""I got your nose"" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she'll call security."

"What do you call a counterfeit receipt for a memory consultant? A Freudilent slip."

"I lost my mood ring last night... I'm not sure how I feel about that"

"I'd like to give a shout out to protons- for keeping our community positive."

"How did the blind skydiver know he was about to hit the ground? He felt the slack in his dog's leash."

"Interviewer: What's your strength? Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours."

"I used to love The Village People until they came at me with torches. -Gay Frankenstein"