76572

Joke of the Day

"I stopped drinking and sleeping around Shit got too gonorreal"

"Two quantum mechanics professors had sex They must have had physical chemistry."

"Slowly crawl towards your sleeping dog, put your face directly next to its face, and whisper ""I know it's been you shitting in my yard."""

"What did the tree do when he got really nervous? He SOILed his pants I'll^see^myself^out..."

"In high school, people called me ""Superman"" due to my light eyes and physical build. Also because I wore my underwear on top of my pants."

"""Today I'm just going to wear pajamas all day."" - Hugh Hefner ever morning of his life."

"What do you call a gay milkman? A dairy queen."

"Why does my computer keep saying hello? It's a Dell."

"Just saw a guy riding a skateboard, holding a surfboard. Dunno where he's going but I assume there's Mountain Dew there."

"If you REALLY need to get laid tonight, put on your oldest or most ridiculous underwear. It works every single time."