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Joke of the Day

"CW: I spent all weekend raking leaves. Me: I don't rake. CW: Leaves will kill your grass! Me: I wonder how grass survived before humans."

"Canadian summer I asked my Canadian buddy ""Did you have a good summer?"" He said ""No! I was working that day."""

"What's the difference between an angry man and a gay arab? An angry man shakes a fist..."

"Yo mama's so fat... When she picked up a toddler the zoo keepers shot her."

"Me: *being hauled on a stretcher into an ambulance* Shotgun! EMT: dude your gonna die if you si- Driver: dammit Dave, he called shotgun"

"I once slept through a burglary. Next thing I knew I was in the back of a police van."

"What do you say to a person at a funeral held at 10 A.M.? Good mourning."

"I went to a Chinese restaurant last night. I said ""Waiter, this beef is rubbery"" He said ""Thank you, I'm grad you rike it"""

"Why do North Americans hate playing chess? Cause they lack the towers."

"--Wanna go rubbing in the park tomorrow with me? Thanks auto correct, this is why I can't have nice friends."