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Joke of the Day

"After Paris my Airbnb host tried to say I stained her sheets & headboard w/ hair dye, but the gag is I don't wear hair to bed."

"How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut its nose off."

"I want Ebola... cereal"

"How many cross-dressers live near Manchester? Well, nearly 320,000 people round there have a Wigan address."

"If you watch Sleeping Beauty backwards it's about a prince who was so charming he kissed his girlfriend and she fainted for 17 years"

"I got really bad sunburn after falling asleep on my stomach at the beach... I wanted emergency medical attention but 911 never returned my call. I guess they put it on the back burner."

"Why do handicapped people wear shoes? Because if they didn't their local gas station would turn a blind eye."

"My husband doesn't like it when I say we are ""married"" with quotation marks."

"Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably shit."

"Imagine how quickly Breitbart would believe in climate science if they could use it to stop black people from voting."