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Joke of the Day

"She got a big booty so I call her Ashley because that's her real name and I don't objectify women."

"The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge ""I dont recognize this court!"" ""Why?"" asked the Judge. ""Because you've had it decorated since the last time I was here."""

"People who are ""just saying"" should try ""just shutting the fuck up."""

"I just want to be rich enough to donate enough money to have a wing at the mental hospital named after me"

"Don't assume my personal politics because of a tweet. Trust me, I believe ALL politicians are equally full of shit."

"Sorry, cancer kids. Our prayers are going elsewhere. RT @KimKardashian: So scared I'm not gonna make my flight to Australia! Pray I make it!"

"Scientists now believe that approx 2% of Earth's water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher"

"How did harry potter get down the hill? Walking, Jk rowling"

"BOSS: it's national replace H's with F's day ME: really? BOSS: yep, you're hired! ME: hahaha-wait BOSS: get out ME: what the huck?"

"Banana Oh, no there isn't a joke here. I just thought if I said ""Banana"" it would sound apeeling."