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Joke of the Day

"You know what grinds my gears? People who say they know how to drive stick because they ""watched a tutorial on YouTube""."

"NASCAR is a visualization of how women argue. They keep going in circles. And I sit through both things with the same hope: If I wait long enough, maybe they will crash and burn."

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and you will have eternal life"" But John came in fifth and won a toaster."

"New job I recently got a new job assisting a one-armed typist with capital letters. It was shift work"

"Nothing cuts deeper than an insult with bad grammar and a spelling mistake."

"I used to pretend that broccoli florets were treetops and I was a giant eating up the forest while my Dad pretended he had a manly son."

"Why does Japan have a high life expectancy? It is full of anti - occidents"

"What do you call a Mexican prostitute that doesn't charge? Frijole."

"I know wearing black is supposed to make you look slimmer but I may be taking it too far wearing this Darth Vader costume all week..."

"Which vitamin best helps a pokemon breed? PP Up."