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Joke of the Day

"What pick-up line works 100% of the time? Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

"Weed is not a drug, its a plant. Therefore, I'm not a drug dealer, I'm a florist."

"Did you hear about the plane crash in Poland? It was a Cessna 2 seater, crashed into a graveyard, the body count is up to 453 and they are still finding more."

"I'm sorry I tried to steal your baby, but my kids don't smell good anymore."

"Sorry I was asleep when you texted me and just woke up when we ran into each other just now"

"What do you call Trump's barber? Orange peeler"

"among countless other horrible crimes the KKK also ruined the badass title of ""Grand Wizard"" for every other organization forever"

"What do you call a happy husband? Broke."

"How did you quit smoking? Decided to smoke only after sex"

"[ten seconds into tv interview where my identity is being protected] camera guy: don't try to disguise your own voice, let the machine do it"