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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend is like ketchup. I always bang her on the table."
Next Joke
"I'm going to start a charity for the clinically insane. Gonna call it ""Fundamental"""
"My toddler was arrested today at kindergarten during nap time. He was charged with resisting a rest."
"Every time my husband hides my pants, I have sex with him. Don't tell him I have more than one pair."
"""Mom, i'm in the hospital."" ""Jeremy, you have been a doctor for 8 years now please stop starting every phone conversation with that."""
"Being a judge incorporates my two favorite things: wearing a robe and judging people. I missed my calling."
"That awkward moment when your girlfriend and side chick are both pregnant... ...and you realize you have to tell your wife."
"i prefer a girl without makeup. in fact i despise the artifice of flesh. give me a nice wailing skeleton"
"The planet would be a better place if people would just be who they truly are. Human civilization would collapse within a week..."
"When a woman says, ""I'm NOT crazy"" *clapping her palms together per syllable* That's universal for, ""You're going to die."""