74640

Joke of the Day

"What happens when the smog/fog/smoke over Los Angeles lifts? You see L.A."

"An abacus isn't exciting, but it's reliable. You can always count on one."

"I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live. Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"All I'm saying is no one ever country westerns you like a hurricane."

"The most positive subreddit award goes to... /r/hiv"

"I'm NOT ashamed of my body. I worked hard for athletic build, healthy brown hair, 4 gorgeous legs, strong neck, big wet nose, clip clop feet"

"Having pets adds 5 years to your life. Have thousands of pets, never stop owning pets. Become immortal. Laugh as your foes grow old and die"

"How does Yoda spend his time. He mostly just sits on his log, watching the Dagobah."

"I bought a used BMW from a cannibal yesterday. It cost me an arm and a leg."

"If someone sends you a link to download the Homer's Iliad, don't download it... It's full of trojans!!"