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Joke of the Day

"Frederick Douglass opened President Lincoln's mind to the plight of blacks. Name another person who opened Lincoln's mind. John Wilkes Booth."

"I think OJ Simpson should be on Dancing with the Stars... I have a funny feeling he really knows how to cut a rug."

"I gave my Chinese friend some sweets yesterday He said ""these are haribo!"" Well if you don't like them don't eat them mate."

"Girls who use tanning beds either have no concept of what they actually look like or have advanced fantasies about being a waffle."

"the 10,000 hours rule is simpley not true i hav said ""helo bird"" to a bird for over 10,000 hours but i still cam't talk to birds"

"The Wizard of Oz is my favorite children's book that teaches us that it's ok to steal shoes from someone as long as they're dead."

"Where do suicide bombers go when they die? ALLAAAAAAHVER the place!"

"I was having the best day of my life But then I woke up."

"I was so thankful.... I couldn't thank my friend enough for getting me into fight club. ""Don't mention it!"", he said."

"I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work... I opened my eyes and chilled - I'm at work."