103679

Joke of the Day

"My sister didn't believe me when I said I could drive spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta."

"Life is like a penis. Sometimes it's hard."

"a lady walks into her house but then the she realizes she does not have a home for living and is sleeping in trash bag"

"I went to see a Spanish magician and he told the crowd that he could make himself disappear on the count of three. He started counting. ""Uno! Dos!"" And then he was gone. Without a tres."

"My black friend asked me if there's a colored printer in the library. I said ""Shit man, it's 2015 you can use whatever printer you want!"""

"Packing for a trip, Husband says I don't need to overpack. It is so cute how he thinks I'm coming back."

"Magician: I need a volunteer. [man stands] Not you. [woman stands] Not you. GARY GET UP HERE! [Gary goes up] We've never met before, right?"

"Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee."

"Two guys are walking down the street........ .....and come upon a dog, licking his balls. The first guy says to the second guy, ""I wish I could do that!"". The second guy says, ""That dog'll bite you!""."

"A man orders a drink at McDonald's Cashier: $1.08 sir Man: Sure, I'll wait"