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Joke of the Day

"You know what they say about hand jobs and homosexuals... They come hand in hand"

"Two necrophiles are discussing their love lives. Necrophile 1: What happened with you and Brenda? Necrophile 2: Ah, you know how it is. . .the rotten cunt split on me."

"My girlfriend left me because I couldn't stop singing Linkin Park. I don't know why it made her so angry, but in the end, it doesn't really matter."

"Girlfriend: Ok you hang up :-) Boyfriend: No You hang up first :-) Girlfriend: no you first Boyfriend: No you first NSA: both of you hang up"

"I got a bootleg copy of ""Alien vs Predator"" It was just some Mexican guy fighting a priest!"

"I have somewhere around 300 karma I intend to drop it to 0 by having human-like opinions on the wrong subreddits"

"i asked a German man if he had a wife He said he had nein."

"Dont be afraid to stand for what you believe in, even if that means standing alone."

"Pretty sure my dog would make a shitty astronaut because space is a vacuum and those tend to scare him"

"Sea World announced they're not going to breed Orcas in captivity anymore... So now the only whales you'll see in a theme park are the American women"