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Joke of the Day

"Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking ? Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor !"

"Why shouldn't you get asylum in Russia? Cuz you'd be snowed-in"

"Writing a good suicide note is hard, especially if you don't know that person's handwriting."

"I met a Slavic feminist once. She told me to Czech my privilege."

"What does a Necrophiliac have when he is turned on? Mourning Wood"

"Why did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool. (Written anonymously in the bathroom at work, a pizza joint.)"

"Annoying guy trying to hit on me: This is like a scene from a romantic movie. Me: Yeah, I'm the iceberg and you're the Titanic. #Queen"

"What happens to a person when they move out of Asia? They become dis-oriented!"

"Her: Baby, do that thing that makes me hot Me: *kisses her neck* H: *slaps me* I MEANT turn the thermostat up dummy, it's freezing in here"

"I got lost in a corn field. It was quite a maize."