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Joke of the Day

"6: I'm done. Me: you didn't even touch your food! 6 pokes food w/finger *without breaking eye contact* The Sass is strong with this one"

"Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ? They always want to play leap frog with him"

"My teacher asked me what a main feature of a greek tragedy was.... Apparently Bankruptcy was the wrong answer."

"My three sons are gonna hate me... once I name them Prescott, Scott, and Postscott"

"So I found out about this huge magnet near my house. It's called a Walmart and it pulls all the fat people in my town close to it."

"If you touch your computer in all the right places... You can turn it on"

"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his kids? Because he's black."

"How did the Shepherd find the sheep in the tall grass? ... Satisfying."

"I don't see what's wrong with gay marriage It eliminates the worst part of a relationship"

"A man left his wife because he found out she was a prostitute and, boy, had he rung up a bill!"