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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it."

"Whenever somebody asks me what my hobby is, there is a long uncomfortable pause and then I back away until I can't see them anymore."

"Did you hear about the gangster panda? It eats shoots and leaves."

"Why did the woman fall into the well? She couldn't see that well."

"Have you heard Julian Assange never spends more than 20 seconds in the restroom? Yeah, he's infamous for his quickieleaks."

"An Irishman offended everyone in the pub by making witty jokes about their mums. What was his name? O'Byrne"

"Scientists have created a mutant version of the deadly 1918 Spanish flu virus in an effort to better understand how pandemics start. I'm not a scientist, but this is how pandemics start."

"What idiot called her a Hot Indian Girl and not a Bomb Bae"

"What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink? Wataaaah!"

"What do you call Jewish coffee? Hebrew"