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Joke of the Day

"""No pressure, but my happiness is totally dependent on you."" - soulmates"

"Children Are Hereditary Children are hereditary... if your parents were not able to have any children, chances are you won't be able to either."

"Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing."

"Library joke A guy goes to the library and says, ""I want a book on suicide."" The librarian says, ""Fuck you, you won't bring it back!"""

"I've spent the better part of my day trying to figure out why ""mustache"" & ""headache"" don't rhyme."

"Charles Dickins walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender says, Olive or Twist?"

"Einstein made a theory about space... It was about time too."

"I was licking this girl all over her face right up until she explained to me what doggy style was."

"I hate ramen noodles. *Checks bank account balance* I love ramen noodles!"

"What's the difference between your dick and your money? I can find a lot of girls that'll blow your money."