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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three - one to change it, one to not-change it and one to both change-and not-change it."

"Please don't put a coin on my mouth when I die; I plan to wander the shores of the River Styx for 100 years & finally get that bikini body."

"Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I'd say I'm about 74% Rice Krispies."

"I recently thought about stealing from the food shelf... But the steaks were too high."

"Try some Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Stevie Wonder! They have ""the taste you can s- ... taste."""

"My son just paced back and forth dictating his letter to Santa like a high-powered CEO. Forget Prada, the Devil wears Ironman pyjamas."

"[guy next to me at urinal] ""Is that a 5 or 6?"" ...about 5-1/2 I guess. ""Really? (looks at iPhone on my hip) Can I see it?"" *zips up* No."

"Everybody thinks I am a psychopath... but I don't care what they think."

"A woman is pulled over for speeding Cop: May I ask you why were you speeding? Woman: That is not possible, I think that Russians hacked your speedometer"

"Do I have a joke about periodic table of elements? Na"